prednisone talks

heh. so i was feeling pretty sad just a moment ago. and i also feel really dumb! but that’s irrelevant. hahaha. i feel dumb because i somehow screwed up my prednisone schedule entirely. i somehow am taking it on the even days instead of the odd days. i think it happened a few days ago though. days are really fucking long and i get confused easily. it could have happened to me at any point! but i think it was probably in the earlier part of the week. everyday lasts for fucking ever. but last night was really fun. and i felt pretty normal yesterday. today i felt more uhh… melancholy. i suppose. but dancing around in something highlighter colored really helped. and my obsession is still tamed. good! i think i may have gotten over it? but i still fucking wonder because it’s still a fucking mystery. and i’m still mad angry because i am fucking fine and i have to wonder how a brotha can front so much. it’s fucking hilarious or ridiculous or something. AINT YOU GON TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? sorry, i’ve adopted a funk master flex persona. i love that man. he always sounds like he’s on the verge of tears. and he interrupts so much. but i love him. my idol yo. but anyway, other prednisone related things. my mood is shitty but good. i had a fun day despite my not so great ¬†mental state. i’m good at working past my shit. lucky me. and i have mad stomach edema. my body is actually looking pretty fine though! surprisingly! woo! and i’m a little worried about the fact that i screwed up my preddy schedule. i’m not sure if i skipped a dose or took an extra dose. either way it sucks because this is not the kinda shit to screw up. i fucking hate medicine. i fucking hate facebook. i fucking hate society. and i pretty much hate everyone because everyone is so uncool and lame. kid president is where it’s at. that kid wants to fucking dance all of the time. i love him. my motto in life is to dance it out too. this kid fucking knows. yoo gurl gotta potty mouth. i pretty much did a performance for a bunch of freshman at my university today. everyday i learn to give a fuck less and less. it is absolutely wonderful. i danced it out. dancing it out is really where it’s at. and who cares who’s watching and whose not dancing. ya gotta get famous. yo. gotta make dat cash money. and if i have an insane fucking personality, why not bank on that. i could ramble to yall all about my pains and my sadness, yes, drugs can fucking do shit to you. the internet just establishes the fact that we are not alone. but fuck, we’re so alone. last night at 5am i got a text that made me cry! haha it’s funny but sad at the same time! i never realized how close i’m not with all of my friends! this was the first time over two years of having a kidney disease that i’ve had a friend tell me, “i’m worried about you”. this friend also knows about the drugs i’m on and has become oddly obsessed with neuroscience. but still, i’ve been more fucking open about how much shit sucks and about how weird i feel but none of my friends actually care. this bro of mine is literally my brother. well, not blood related. but he’s like family. these drugs are fucking me up and the only people who have enough reliance on my existence to be worried are my family usually. but i’m glad to have someone who isn’t related to me share their concern with me. i’m probably very shut off from my friends though. i don’t often share intense amounts of emotional accounts with them. i guess i’m just socially awkward, lol. oops. aren’t we all? haha, i forgot that i never continued to recount my tales of greece. i kind of got lost at the beginning of kerkyra. but i just want to move forward. i’m all about moving forward. i’ll look back on it fondly after a few months perhaps. but right now the weirdness is still too fresh. but i’m getting off my prednisone! cutting down 20mg every two weeks! i’m on 100 right now! woo! if only i hadn’t screwed up the days! i hope that won’t fuck me up too much! but i realize i’m already fucked up so what more can it do to my mind? i’m all good yo. i’ll just flush my mistakes out with water. hahaha. i don’t make mistakes. well, okay, that was a mistake. duh. everyone does silly things. true story. PEOPLE ARE SO RETARDED THOUGH, FA REAL. can’t take people. i really need to go live in a cave. anger problems? nah. take it to the head…. wooo. hot 97. good fun for me. i just need to go hang out with funk flex. love that man. i’m about to go look up steroids and nephrotic syndrome on twitter. let’s see if i can make some awesome friends. hehe.¬†

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